Kelly Rued, Etcetera
Insufferable as NASCAR, indomitable as moon prospectors, metal as the wind—such is our love.
Welcome, svelte cybernauts, to my personal scrapblog. Some people say, "you waste so much time looking at stupid shit on the internet. When you're on your death bed, think how you'll wish you could get that time back." People who win at the internet don't go out like that. We'll have a lifetime of stupid internet shit saved in our scrapblogs so we can cherish it ON our death beds. Remember that great lol you had in June 1998? I don't either. Don't let your lolz continue to deteriorate like your aging, senile brain. Get a tumblelog and win at the internet. - PSA by KRetc.
Ok, so I did the MIT Personas thing. It’s a nifty tool that supposedly shows how “the internet sees you” based on your name alone. Obviously, the point here is to show how shockingly wrong or amazingly correct the online records associated with your name might be. Luckily for me, I am the most famous person with my exact combination of first and last name so it found some bits about me right off.
However, the first results I got had an enormous “illegal” section and an equally large and frightening “sports” section. I quickly redid it. And redid it. I basically used my same name to get many different results, none of them accurate. It was not very enlightening.
My “online” segment should positively dwarf the rest given how much time I’m online or working on online media projects. My “travel” block should be a sliver because I’m a hermit (see: online all the time, not traveling at all). My fame should be a sliver because nobody knows who I am (see: online all the time, often not using my real name). Illegal should be smaller, but still there for unspecified recreational reasons (no, not drugs… think geekier than that, and recall that I’m online all the time). Religious? Unless a childhood in Catholic school still counts for something, there should be no religion listed (unless it’s saying I’m online religiously). Social? Meh. Professional? So I say in my LinkedIn profile. Medicine? WTF. Aggression and committees? Really? There must be some other Kelly Rued somewhere who reads a lot more News than me.
I don’t know, MIT, Google returns some pretty spot-on results for my name compared to the bullshit I got from Personas. I can’t believe Personas didn’t even mention my massive Twilight macros and lolporn segment. Now I feel like the internet doesn’t even fucking listen when I’m typing. Pfft!
