Kelly Rued, Etcetera
Insufferable as NASCAR, indomitable as moon prospectors, metal as the wind—such is our love.
Welcome, svelte cybernauts, to my personal scrapblog. Some people say, "you waste so much time looking at stupid shit on the internet. When you're on your death bed, think how you'll wish you could get that time back." People who win at the internet don't go out like that. We'll have a lifetime of stupid internet shit saved in our scrapblogs so we can cherish it ON our death beds. Remember that great lol you had in June 1998? I don't either. Don't let your lolz continue to deteriorate like your aging, senile brain. Get a tumblelog and win at the internet. - PSA by KRetc.
Damn. Why are awful stereotypes seldom wrong? When I first saw a banner ad on some blog for a “Twicon” I clicked through to gape at the horror of it all (you can pay crazy cash to get your picture taken with Jasper, who has like 4 lines in the first film, and maybe 2 scenes in the second!) but the moment I saw the “masquerade ball” mentioned I involuntarily jumped to a cruel conclusion:
This place will be full of gigantic middle-aged long-haired women who enjoy wearing epic corsets, sausage-casing-like spanks “foundation garments,” and vaguely medieval/gothy looking gowns. Some wiccans will represent for batshits everywhere. Many will be hot-bodied but snaggle-faced teens dressed in cosplay, and some will bring along their tween daughters in some weird bonding ritual (the female equivalent of a dad taking his 12 year old son to a strip club). Pandering geeky men will be there, subserviently dressing in matching cosplay, dutifully holding purses. The entire ballroom will smell like old paperback books, pressed powder, and menstruation.
Either stereotypes are awesome accurate, or I’m psychic as hell:
